Catcher in the Swamp

Once you have come to terms with who you are and how your life will turn out, it is pretty easy to follow it without issue. What I have learned though is that even though you may not care for the woman that you kick out of your bed in the morning, you can still care for other people. Sadly it is not for any woman, but for your fellow man that you find is at the crossroads you once were at. What makes you care for them is not that fact that soon you will have a competent wingman, but that you don’t want them to follow you down the path that you are travelling.

You swallowed your chance years ago and have been chasing it with beer and whiskey ever since. You won’t let your fellow man fall into the same pit of despair as yourself, so you do everything you can to keep them on the right track. The only way you know how to do this though is to make yourself a bigger asshole and dig your hole a little deeper. There is no getting out of it, so you make it your home. Friends may come and visit, but you never let them stay.

The job is tiring, trying to keep everyone else on the straight and narrow. Your friends think that they can live both lifestyles, being a self-indulgent asshole and boyfriend material but you know that it never works out. They may finally come to their senses and live the honorable life that you deep down inside you regret you are not living, but if they don’t you just sigh and help each other find someone to keep you company for that cold evening.

That isn’t the toughest part though; it is when you come across the particular breed of woman who will either ditch your hopeless romantic friend for your bad-boy antics or try to make your friend jealous by flirting with you. That is the definition of being stuck between a rock and a hard place because while you try to do your best and look out for your buddy, you just want to fuck another chick. I know, I know bros before hoes but pussy is such an easy trap to fall in to.

So listen up guys, you have to choose a side. Either you spend the rest of your life looking for love or you go grab yourself a shovel and come join me. I will do everything that I can to keep you from going down the path of the latter but we all have free will, and you have to make some choices. As for you ladies, well, it is nice to meet you. If you aren’t playing some game I would love to get to know you on a more horizontal level.